Day 9: (It's been) One Week

 If I had a million dollars, I might be an Olympic Gold Medalist from the Phillippines.  Government and other sponsorship incentives have now activated for Carlos Yulo, who is now a DUAL gold medalist having been promised a house, a condo, Free Ramen for life, and free colonoscopies for life (once he turns 45).  Now that he's won two golds, it's not clear if he gets two lifetimes of colonoscopies or not.

That's the joy of having no worries about clean bowel health.

Noah Lyles seems like the kind of guy who laughs at a funeral.  What a wild and crazy guy. Jamaica tried to match wits, they tried to hold him, but he busted through for Gold and title of world's fastest man. Legend status that the US has not obtained since Justin Gatlin in 2004.  Dont't Ledecky Us Get Hot told Noah, "You did just what I thought you we're gonna do," and takes home the Gold. Kishane Thompson of Jamaica takes the Silver for Athletic Avengers.

Leaning, like they are falling for the first time

Scottie Sheffler didn't need a new set of clubs, you know the kind with tiny nubs. Scottie did what Scottie does and closes out a tournament on Sunday with a mind blowing 62 to come from behind and claim the gold. He's won virtually everything in the past few years, and now gets to put Olympic champion on his list. He clearly wasn't the underdog, but an American hero, just the same - delivering when it counted. Overcome by emotion with the Star Spangled Banner playing, Scottie unleashed the water works - us too, Scottie, us too. 

Pinch me

If I made mad films, they may not feature a samurai, but it might feature KAYAK CROSS.  This beautiful sport made it's debut at the Olympics and features four kayakers at a time getting dropped off a 15 foot ledge into the water, and racing through a course featuring a ROLL ZONE, upstream and downstream gates, and paddle-slappin' action. 

Jessica Fox of Australia and Hunchback of the Swimming Lane was trying to win a triple gold in this event, but came in second to her SISTER Noemie in a heat, so unfortunately misses out on the triple threat. That's going to make for some interesting family gatherings...she may have forgiven her, but it'll still be two days before she says she's sorry.

It's NOT been done, befooooore

WHEW what a round-up...Time to check in on the other medals - who needs sleep?

Like Harrison Ford, it's getting frantic in the standings! Eiffel Power and Baguette the Gold make BIG moves today bringing home some major hardware - Eiffel Power now sits 2 points out of first place after leading the standings with 13 total golds!  Can the tower of power make a monumental achievement and finally overtake the nautical bellringer? Or will the golden pastry keep rising that dough up the standings? 3rd and 4th place are only 2 gold medals away from the top spot, and 5th-7th place are separated by TWO POINTS. Don't Ledecky Us Get Hot is unfortunately cooler than the other side of the pillow.

TENNIS

• DJOKOVIC GETS THE GOLD - Novak wanted this one badly to round out his career, and given the opportunity, he did not let anything stand in his way, even the recent Wimbledon champion, Carlos Alcaraz of Hunchback of the Swimming Lane, who does get a silver.
• ERRANI AND PAOLINI of Italy take the GOLD in women's doubles - TEam de Triomphe and Eiffel Power high five and celebrate the 10 points.

TABLE TENNIS

• The king of ping was crowned today, with Fan Zhendong of China claiming the men's singles crown for Macronian cheese.

ARCHERY

• Kim Woojin is the modern day Robin Hood, winning his third gold for Macronian Cheese.  The final did come down to a one-arrow blast off, where Kim and USA's Brady Ellison each hit 10s, but Kim's was closer to the center, so he claims the crown.  What an effort by Brady!
• Lee Wooseok of Team de Triomphe claimed the Bronze

GYMNASTICS

• Men's rings - Liu Yang of Athletic Avengers gets Gold, Zou Jingyuan of Hunchback of the Swimming Lane gets Silver
• Women's Uneven Bars - Laylia Nemour of Baguette the Gold bags the Gold, with Suni Lee of Seine Superstars swinging in for Bronze

FENCING

• Tommaso Marini of Italy and Macronian Cheese stabs a SILVER
  

DISTANCE/FIELD ATHLETICS

• Ethan Katzberg of Canada and Eiffel Power hammers ahead with a GOLD in the Hammer Throw

SWIMMING

THIS IS IT - the end of the pool lanes

• Golden Beret celebrated like Katie Ledecky, going wild in the stands with a cowbell for Bobby Finke, who won the marathon race - 1500m.
• The two final relays - womens and mens 100m medley relays - featured China, US, and France finish for the men, and US, Australia, and China for the women. 
• GOLD - Qin Haiyang - Golden Beret
• GOLD - Regan Smith - Baguette the Gold, Gretchen Walsh - Race Walkers, Kate Douglass - Baguette the Gold
• SILVER - Caeleb Dressel - Seine Superstars, Ryan Murphy - Eiffel Power, 
• SILVER - Mollie O'Callaghan - Hunchback, Kaylee McKeown - Team de Triomphe
• BRONZE - Leon "You think you're lookin' at Aquaman" Marchand, Synchronized Race Walkers

It's been one week, what will this final week hold? The race for GOLD is on!!