Day 16: Ring the Bell!

One of the coolest parts of the track and field finals was that each champion got to ring a giant bell that sent the crowd into a frenzy, and provided one more opportunity to celebrate their monumental achievement. The bell is going to be hung in the carillion at the Notre Dame cathedral, as they are rebuilding after the fire.

So for us, in the Fantasy Olympiad, it's time to RING THAT BELL.

CLANGA CLANGA CLANGA CLANGA CLANGA

Hunchback of the Swimming Lane entered his 7th Fantasy Olympiad, never claiming the crown. However, in Paris, Quasimodo went WIRE TO WIRE by claiming 27 gold medals and finshing with 374 points. He claims the Golden Eiffel Tower statue.

Eiffel Power started slow, but powered up the standings day after day, to finish on the podium once again - her gold medal total was second at 22 wins. She will wear the Silver Sequined Beret.

Team de Triomphe remained a contender throughout, but fell upon some bad luck, ending with the highest Bronze total at 12. A couple of those convert higher, and she's in second place. Nevertheless, she claims the coveted Bronze prize - the Snoopa Lisa. Hang it in the Louvre!

If you are interested in more stats, I'll post some breakdown below with the top performers and worst performers.  Interestingly, looking back to the estimated standings at the end of the draft, the same three teams were projected to win, just not in the same order. If you recall, Team de Triomphe did have the #1 overall pick, but Hunchback was relegated to the #10 pick.  

Hunchback's team ends within 3 points of the projected total - I don't think anything like that has ever happened before!  It does not mean that each projection came true - far from it - but I ended up with many overperformers that ended up being good value picks in the end. 

Don't Ledecky by far has the worst luck, with a -162 underperformance.  Athletic Avengers not far behind at -143. Time to invest in a national performance enhancement program.

AU REVOIR FROM PARIS 2024!

SEE YOU IN TORINO 2026 and LA 2028!

CUE THE RED HOT CHILI PEPPERS

Final Medals awarded:

HANDBALL

• GOLD - Denmark Men - Team de Triomphe
• SILVER - Germany Men - Eiffel Power
• BRONZE - Spain Men - Athletic Avengers

; Ir

WATER POLO

• GOLD - Serbia Men - Hunchback of the Swimming Lane
• SILVER - Croatia Men - Seine Superstars

BASKETBALL

• GOLD - USA Women - Don't Ledecky Us Get Hot
• BRONZE - Australia Women - Golden Beret

VOLLEYBALL

• GOLD - Italy Women - Synchronized Race Walkers
• SILVER - USA Women - Macronian Cheese

WEIGHTLIFTING

• GOLD - China Women - Synchronied Race Walkers

WRESTLING

• GOLD - Japan Women, Seine Superstars
• SILVER - Iran Men, Eiffel Power
• BRONZE - Azerbaijan Men, Athletic Avengers; Iran Men, Eiffel Power

CYCLING

• GOLD - Harrie Lavreysen, Netherlands - Hunchback of the Swimming Lane (TRIPLE GOLD in the games!)
• BRONZE - Emma Finucane, Great Britain - Team de Triomphe
• SILVER - Lea Friedrich, Germany - Golden Beret

TOP PERFORMERS

These are all the 31 selections that scored higher than 20 points - team sports max at 20 for gold, and some have a relative max of 20 if someone is in 2 events, or wins in singles and doubles/team. 

My Uzbek boxing team proved to be an elite wildcard pick, but they didn't even start compeition until the last few days. I ended with great value from 7 of the 31 selections on this list, when an average would have been 3 per team.

OUT-PERFORMERS

These competitors all secured MORE points than they were projected - led by none other than the Finned Frenchman himself, Leon Marchand.  Synchronized Race Walkers clearly displayed their prowess in eyeing talent, having the top 3 on the board.

AGONY OF DEFEAT

Here's who to blame the most for your team finishing off the podium.  Unfortunately, the Synchronized Race Walkers didn't need to be on the top of this list, as well. The Japan women's Judo team did not live up to the billing, falling just short in too many matches. Japan also takes the second spot, with the disappointing showing from Gymnast Daiki Hasimoto.  Whichever gymnast is chosen by Macronian Cheese in the next games, look out - this is twice in a row they have terrible luck in selecting a "sure thing" gymnast that doesn't deliver.

Despite the performances that didn't pan out, these games proved to be filled with all the drama, unpredictability, and epic performances that truly did wow us all.  Once again the Olympics have captivated us all.  These memories mark the time in our lives.  My age is now older than the number of Summer Olympics that have ever occurred.  We only get so many opportunities to witness this spectacle, and I am thankful once again to get to journey along with you all. 

Until next time...CITIUS, ALTIUS, FORTIUS

Day 15: Baking Up A Batch of Medals

 We head into the final day of the games, and after a massive amount of medals handed out, there has been a huge shift in the standings!

Baguette the Gold had a meteoric rise in the standings to be in podium position after adding 69 points today! She thought that her teams chances were dried up like a crouton, but now she's looking like fresh bread out of the oven. Panera may just throw chunks of baguettes in bags for free, but there's nothing thrown away in the effort this team has earned, battling to the end.

However, there are still some competitions tomorrow, with only 44 points separating 2nd through 5th place.

Who to cheer for tomorrow:

• Handball - Spain Men (Atheltic Avengers) goes for Bronze; Germany (Eiffel Power) vs. Denmark (Team de Triomphe) for the GOLD - Triomphe needs this to try and get back to the podium
• Water Polo - Hungary Men (Dont Ledecky Us Get Hot) goes for Bronze vs the USA; Serbia (Hunchback) vs. Croatia (Seine Superstars) for GOLD
• Basketball - Australia Women (Golden Beret) goes for Bronze; USA Women (Don't Ledecky Us Get Hot) go for GOLD
• Volleyball - USA Women (Macronian Cheese) vs. Italy Women (Synchronized Race Walkers) go for GOLD
• Weightlifting, Wrestling, and Cycling all still have events occurring throughout the day.

Recap of medals from today!

DISTANCE

• Marathon - Benson Kipruto, Kenya - BRONZE - Macronian Cheese
• 800m - Djamel Sedjati, Algeria - BRONZE - Team de Triomphe
• 5000m - Jakob Ingebrigtsen, Norway - GOLD - Hunchback of the Swimming Lane
• 1500m - Faith Kipyegon, Kenya - GOLD - Baguette the Gold

SPRINTING

• 4x400m - Rai Benjamin, USA - GOLD - Eiffel Power
• 4x400m - Gabby Thomas, USA - GOLD - Hunchback of the Swimming Lane

WEIGHTLIFTING

• GOLD - China Men - Team de Triomphe; 
• GOLD - Norway Women - Baguette the Gold
• GOLD - Georgia Men - Golden Beret
• SILVER - Armenia Men - Macronian Cheese
• BRONZE - Bahrain Men - Seine Superstars

WRESTLING

• GOLD - Japan Women - Seine Superstars
• SILVER - Iran Men - Eiffel Power
• BRONZE - USA Men - Golden Beret; Turkey Men - Synchronized Race Walkers; Azerbaijan Men - Athletic Avengers; Kyrgyzstan Women - Baguette the Gold

DIVING

• BRONZE - Noah Williams, Great Britain - Hunchback of the Swimming Lane

CANOE

• GOLD - New Zealand Women - Baguette the Gold;
• SILVER - Hungary Men - Race Walkers
• BRONZE - Denmark Women - Seine Superstars; Hungary Men - Race Walkers

TABLE TENNIS

• CHINA GOLD - sweeps the Table Tennis events
• Sun Yingsha -Baguette the Gold
• Chen Meng - Seine Superstars
• Manyu Wang - Don't Ledecky Us Get Hot
• JAPAN SILVER - Hina Hayata, Golden Beret

BOXING

• THE AMAZING UZBEKS - Uzbekistan Men - DOUBLE GOLD

TEAM MADNESS

HANDBALL

• Norway Women - GOLD - Baguette the Gold
• France Women - SILVER - Don't Ledecky Us Get Hot

FOOTBALL 

• USA Women - GOLD - Synchronized Race Walkers

WATER POLO

• US Women - finish off the podium for the first time in the history of the event (sorry Synchronized Race Walkers)
• Netherlands Women - BRONZE - Baguette the Gold
• Australia Women - SILVER - Macronian Cheese
• Spain Women - GOLD - Golden Beret

BASKETBALL

• USA Men - GOLD - Athletic Avengers (This must have been what it was like to be a Warriors fan all those years, Steph Curry won this medal)
• Serbia Men - BRONZE - Team de Triomphe

VOLLEYBALL

• France Men - GOLD - Eiffel Power
• Brazil Women - BRONZE - Golden Beret
• Beach - Mol/Sorum, Norway - BRONZE - Hunchback of the Swimming Lane

Day 13: Survive and Advance

 Team USA Basketball finally had a tough challenge and Serbia delivered a major one. After crushing Serbia in the group play, three time NBA MVP Nikola Jokic led his team of sharpshooters to a 17 point lead late.  Steph Curry had his Olympic moment, carrying the team with 36 points and sealing it with free throws late. After seeing some blowouts, it was really fun to see the best in the world have to BE the best and step up across the board.  They will battle France for gold on Saturday, which should be an epic atmosphere in Paris.  Athletic Avengers await the chance at glory. Team de Triomphe selected Serbia, so nearly got a boost, but still has a chance for Bronze, facing off against Germany and Seine Superstars. France was UNDRAFTED, which i clearly regret.

Shoutout to Speed Climber Sam Watson of the USA who set a world record twice during this event, but unfortunately lost in the semifinals. He did set the latest world record in the Bronze match at a blistering 4.74 seconds climbing 15 meters (49 ft) to take a medal home from these games! A man named Leonardo from Malaysia took gold, claiming the first ever gold medal for Malaysia that's not in Badminton.

Scoreboard Update - with three days of the games remaining it's time for us to survive and advance.  The race is on for gold, silver, and bronze.  Team de Triomphe holds on to second place by a point, with Eiffel Power having a strong day, breaking the 200 point barrier. Lots of big money team points still out there in Basketball, Football, Handball, Volleyball, Women's Field Hockey, and Water Polo.

CANOEING

• GOLD - New Zealand Women - Baguette the Gold; Germany Men - Eiffel Power

CYCLING

• GOLD - Omnium - Benjamin Thomas, France - Don't Ledecky Us Get Hot
• BRONZE - Keirin Race - Emma Finucane, Great Britain - Team de Triomphe

FIELD HOCKEY

• Belgium Men - OFF THE PODIUM - Athletic Avengers (stick to waffles)

DIVING

• Wang Zongyuan, China - SILVER - Macronian Cheese (China also won gold, but someone that no one drafted!)

WEIGHTLIFTING

• GOLD - China women - Synchronized Race Walkers; Indonesia Men - Don't Ledecky Us Get Hot
• BRONZE - Bulgaria Men - Eiffel Power

WRESTLING

• GOLD - Iran Men - Eiffel Power, Japan Women - Seine Superstars
• SILVER - Iran Men - Eiffel Power
• BRONZE - Azerbaijan Men - Athletic Avengers; Cuba Men - Hunchback of the Swimming Lane

COVID-19

• UNDEFEATED - No medals awarded - 0 points

SPRINTING

• Kenny Bednarek, USA - SILVER - Team de Triomphe
• Noah Lyles, USA - BRONZE - Don't Ledecky Us Get Hot
• Grant Holloway - GOLD - Macronian Cheese

Finally BOXING - France Men of Synchronized Race Walkers and Uzbekistan Men of Hunchback of the Swimming Lane faced off in the 51kg Gold Medal bout. With a unanimous decision, Uzbekistan takes Gold and France gets the Silver.

Day 12: Spinning Her Wheels

Kristen Faulkner was not even on the USA Olympic Cycling team a month ago. She wasn't even riding bikes until 2017. After getting a venture capitalist job in NYC, she picked up riding a bike in Central Park as a hobby.  She realized she liked it, was pretty good at it, and started trying some races. She won races, lots of 'em.  Quit her job, turned to cycling professionally four years ago. She didn't qualify for the Olympic team initally, but then Taylor Knibb also qualified in the Triathlon and resigned her spot on the cycling team to focus on that event. Faulker got the call up from USA Cycling, and a month later, she took advantage and blitzed the leaders at the end to claim the road race gold.

So the US threw her on the Cycling track sprint team, and now Faulkner has pedaled her way to a second Gold Medal! 20 points in cycling that none of us had any foresight to select either.

Not too bad for a ride in the park. Maybe one of us could be a badminton savant? Time to chase your passion.

Speaking of passion, the Artistic Swimming title was delivered today, and Team de Triomphe splashed and dazzled her way into second place with the Chinese team claiming the Gold. The US team performed their "Sorceress" routine and secured their first medal in forever.  With Russia banned, this made it a wide open competition for the first time in forever.

Fierce Splashing

The Paris games have made a big deal about this being a very equal opportuinty Olympics, with women's events being available in all disciplines. Buuut, there's no men's artistic swimming. Interestingly enough, there was a rule change for this year that allowed a max of two men on each roster.  None were selected for the teams.

DISTANCE:

• Race Walk Mixed Relay GOLD - Alvaro Martin, Spain - Athletic Avengers

WEIGHTLIFTING - the first medals getting raised up!

• GOLD - China Men and Women - Synchronized Race Walkers, Team de Triomphe
• BRONZE - USA Men - Hunchback of the Swimming Lane

CYCLING

• Men's Team Sprint  - SILVER - Great Britain - Ethan Hayter and Oliver Wood of Synchronized Race Walkers and Baguette the Gold
• Women's Team Sprint - BRONZE - Great Britain - Elinor Barker and Neah Evans of Athletic Avengers and Macronian Cheese

ARTISTIC SWIMMING - CHINA GOLD for Team de Triomphe - 20 point boost!

WRESTLING

• GOLD - Iran Men - Eiffel Power
• SILVER - Armenia Men - Team de Triomphe
• BRONZE - Armenia Men - Team de Triomphe; Kyrgysztan Men - Macronian Cheese x 2!; Cuba Men - Hunchback of the Swimming Lane; Japan Women - Seine Superstars

SPRINTING

• 400m - Quincy Hall, USA - GOLD - Seine Superstars

BOXING

• France Men - Silver AND Bronze - Synchronized Race Walkers

Day 11: sHocker!

 The 1500m race was shaping up to be an exciting event, but wow oh wow was it EXCITING. World Record pace, the defending gold, silver, and bronze medalists leading the pack, and then Cole Hocker and Yared Nuguse turned on the jets and burned the Brit like it was 1776. The American Middle Distance Revolution is alive!

My team did draft Jakob Ingebrigtsen, and I was feeling pretty confident with his blazing start, but I'm glad to take the points hit for this injection of stars and stripes in my veins.

Scoreboard update - I still had a good day:

DIVING - China gold (Seine Superstars) and Silver (Baguette the Gold)

WRESTLING - Things were a SLAMMIN' today

• GOLD - Cuba Men - Hunchback of the Swimming Lane
• SILVER - Kyrgyzstan Women - Baguette the Gold
• BRONZE - Japan Women - Seine Superstars; Iran Men - Eiffel Power; Kyrgyzstan Men - Macronian Cheese

FIELD EVENTS - Miltiadis Tentoglou - Long Jump GOLD - Synchronized Race Walkers

SPRINTING - Gabby Thomas - USA - GOLD - Hunchback of the Swimming Lane

CYCLING - Men's team sprint - 

• NETHERLANDS GOLD - Harrie Lavreysen - Hunchback of the Swimming Lane - the team set the world record in Heats yesterday, and then broke it again in the final!

It's getting down to the wire - what's left?  Lots...don't give up hope!

I can confirm what's done - don't put your hope here:

• Swimming (but not Artistic!)
• Archery
• Badminton
• 3x3 Basketball
• Equestrian
• Fencing
• Gymnastics (but not Rhythmic!)
• Judo
• Rowing
• Rugby Sevens
• Shooting
• Surfing
• Tennis

Day 10: Ragin' Cajun

 Armand Duplantis plants his name in history by not only winning the men's pole vault final, but he went back to try and attempt a world record height.  He cleared it on his second try and put on a show for the Paris crowd. Born and raised in Lafayette, LA, a track and field star in Baton Rouge at LSU, Duplantis said the Paris crowd was great, almost like a football game at Death Valley. Sounds like a slam dunk team USA featured athlete...but he drapes a Swedish flag around his shoulders?? Despite the family history how did we not make a push for this legend? Don't Ledecky Us Get Hot ultimately says "laissez les bons temps rouler!" and takes the 10 points Duplantis provides.

MONDO

Plenty of action today - here are the updated standings:

No change to the order from yesterday, but some solid point jumps.

Badminton - GOLD for An Se-Young and Hunchback; SILVER for Kunlavut Vitidsarn and Don't Ledecky

Gymnastics - GOLD for Zou Jingyuan and Hunchback, GOLD for Rebeca Andrade and Golden Beret, SILVER for Simone Biles and Team de Triomphe (mega drama for Bronze after a points inquiry - hoo boy, I think Romania got jobbed)

Canoe - GOLD for Australia Women and Hunchback (Noemie Fox, the younger sister of Jessica Fox won gold! Sibling Rivaly Xtreme); Great Britain Women and Golden Beret win Bronze

SILVER for Great Britain Men of Atheltic Avengers and BRONZE for Germany Men of Eiffel Power

Distance - Faith Kipyegon was initially DQ'd for interference, but the Kenyan delegation protested and it was overruled. Faith had a bit of a tussle with a Ugandan that cut her off during the race and there was some arm grabbing and trash talkin' action.  Faith bagged the silver for Baguette the Gold.

Cycling - Track events started today with the Women's team sprint - BRONZE for Lea Friedrich of Golden Beret; GOLD for Emma Finucane of Team de Triomphe

3x3 Basketball - we all stunk!  USA Women are the only medalist from our teams, laying up for a Bronze for Baguette the Gold.  USA Men don't medal, neither do Serbia men, Latvia Men, or France Women - Hunchback, Macronian Cheese, Race Walkers, and Eiffel Power all foul out.

Surfing finally reached it's conclusion - Caroline Marks of the USA took the GOLD for the Seine Superstars, Brisa Henessey finished in 4th just off the podium for Don't Ledecky Us Get Hot.

Day 9: (It's been) One Week

 If I had a million dollars, I might be an Olympic Gold Medalist from the Phillippines.  Government and other sponsorship incentives have now activated for Carlos Yulo, who is now a DUAL gold medalist having been promised a house, a condo, Free Ramen for life, and free colonoscopies for life (once he turns 45).  Now that he's won two golds, it's not clear if he gets two lifetimes of colonoscopies or not.

That's the joy of having no worries about clean bowel health.

Noah Lyles seems like the kind of guy who laughs at a funeral.  What a wild and crazy guy. Jamaica tried to match wits, they tried to hold him, but he busted through for Gold and title of world's fastest man. Legend status that the US has not obtained since Justin Gatlin in 2004.  Dont't Ledecky Us Get Hot told Noah, "You did just what I thought you we're gonna do," and takes home the Gold. Kishane Thompson of Jamaica takes the Silver for Athletic Avengers.

Leaning, like they are falling for the first time

Scottie Sheffler didn't need a new set of clubs, you know the kind with tiny nubs. Scottie did what Scottie does and closes out a tournament on Sunday with a mind blowing 62 to come from behind and claim the gold. He's won virtually everything in the past few years, and now gets to put Olympic champion on his list. He clearly wasn't the underdog, but an American hero, just the same - delivering when it counted. Overcome by emotion with the Star Spangled Banner playing, Scottie unleashed the water works - us too, Scottie, us too. 

Pinch me

If I made mad films, they may not feature a samurai, but it might feature KAYAK CROSS.  This beautiful sport made it's debut at the Olympics and features four kayakers at a time getting dropped off a 15 foot ledge into the water, and racing through a course featuring a ROLL ZONE, upstream and downstream gates, and paddle-slappin' action. 

Jessica Fox of Australia and Hunchback of the Swimming Lane was trying to win a triple gold in this event, but came in second to her SISTER Noemie in a heat, so unfortunately misses out on the triple threat. That's going to make for some interesting family gatherings...she may have forgiven her, but it'll still be two days before she says she's sorry.

It's NOT been done, befooooore

WHEW what a round-up...Time to check in on the other medals - who needs sleep?

Like Harrison Ford, it's getting frantic in the standings! Eiffel Power and Baguette the Gold make BIG moves today bringing home some major hardware - Eiffel Power now sits 2 points out of first place after leading the standings with 13 total golds!  Can the tower of power make a monumental achievement and finally overtake the nautical bellringer? Or will the golden pastry keep rising that dough up the standings? 3rd and 4th place are only 2 gold medals away from the top spot, and 5th-7th place are separated by TWO POINTS. Don't Ledecky Us Get Hot is unfortunately cooler than the other side of the pillow.

TENNIS

• DJOKOVIC GETS THE GOLD - Novak wanted this one badly to round out his career, and given the opportunity, he did not let anything stand in his way, even the recent Wimbledon champion, Carlos Alcaraz of Hunchback of the Swimming Lane, who does get a silver.
• ERRANI AND PAOLINI of Italy take the GOLD in women's doubles - TEam de Triomphe and Eiffel Power high five and celebrate the 10 points.

TABLE TENNIS

• The king of ping was crowned today, with Fan Zhendong of China claiming the men's singles crown for Macronian cheese.

ARCHERY

• Kim Woojin is the modern day Robin Hood, winning his third gold for Macronian Cheese.  The final did come down to a one-arrow blast off, where Kim and USA's Brady Ellison each hit 10s, but Kim's was closer to the center, so he claims the crown.  What an effort by Brady!
• Lee Wooseok of Team de Triomphe claimed the Bronze

GYMNASTICS

• Men's rings - Liu Yang of Athletic Avengers gets Gold, Zou Jingyuan of Hunchback of the Swimming Lane gets Silver
• Women's Uneven Bars - Laylia Nemour of Baguette the Gold bags the Gold, with Suni Lee of Seine Superstars swinging in for Bronze

FENCING

• Tommaso Marini of Italy and Macronian Cheese stabs a SILVER
  

DISTANCE/FIELD ATHLETICS

• Ethan Katzberg of Canada and Eiffel Power hammers ahead with a GOLD in the Hammer Throw

SWIMMING

THIS IS IT - the end of the pool lanes

• Golden Beret celebrated like Katie Ledecky, going wild in the stands with a cowbell for Bobby Finke, who won the marathon race - 1500m.
• The two final relays - womens and mens 100m medley relays - featured China, US, and France finish for the men, and US, Australia, and China for the women. 
• GOLD - Qin Haiyang - Golden Beret
• GOLD - Regan Smith - Baguette the Gold, Gretchen Walsh - Race Walkers, Kate Douglass - Baguette the Gold
• SILVER - Caeleb Dressel - Seine Superstars, Ryan Murphy - Eiffel Power, 
• SILVER - Mollie O'Callaghan - Hunchback, Kaylee McKeown - Team de Triomphe
• BRONZE - Leon "You think you're lookin' at Aquaman" Marchand, Synchronized Race Walkers

It's been one week, what will this final week hold? The race for GOLD is on!! 

Day 8: Medal Madness

 Guys, this day was filled with so much and I don't have time to recap it all, but there was a lot of action on this Saturday.

Here's the scoreboard update:

• Rowing scattered medals for almost everyone
• Tennis gave out 5 medals today and we earned ZERO
• TABLE Tennis however saw Hina Hayat of Golden Beret take the Bronze, Sun Yingsha of Baguette the Gold get Silver, and Chen Meng of Seine Superstars serve up a Gold
• More racket in the Racket sports - Badminton women's doubles finals saw Synchronized Race Walkers and Team de Triomphe triumphing together for GOLD.
• Archery nearly had a S. Korean sweep on the medal stand, but Jeon Hun-Young of Golden Beret was foiled by the home team - France for the Bronze.  The gold medal match came down to Hunchback of the Swimming Lane and Eiffel Power, with the Powerhouse Lim Si-hyeon of Eiffel Power getting her THIRD gold of these games.
• Gymnastics saw Biles be Biles for Team de Triomphe, Andrade was Andrade for Golden Beret, Jade Carey squeaks in for Bronze for Eiffel Power, and Don't Ledecky Us Get Hot secured a gymnastics medal with the Israeli Artem Dolgopyat getting a Silver in Floor Exercise. And don't forget, Pommel Horse Guy was Pommel Horse Guy again and got a Bronze for team USA.  He needs a sponsorship with Lenscrafters now or something.
• JUDO featured a mixed-team event today, which came down to France and Japan. With the points tied, it came down to a "random" draw of which weight class would battle it out and of course the "random" selection came down to the heaviest weight class and Teddy Riner, that we featured yesterday.  He slammed the Japanese compeitor to the mat, and France comes away with the Gold.  With this being mixed team, we're handing out the following: Gold to France Men/Women for Don't Ledecky and Hunchback; Silver to Japan Men/Women for Race Walkers and Golden Beret. Brazil and Korea took Bronze so no medals there for us.
• Fencing saw Japan win the Women's Sabre Bronze, including Misaki Emura of Don't Ledecky Us Get Hot
• Athletics - Distance/Field had Joe Kovacs of the US getting Silver for Golden Beret
• Athletics - Sprinting had Sha'Carri Richardson running for the Race Walkers, and she clawed her way to silver.
• Swimming is nearly complete, but lots of hardware tonight:
• 200m IM - Gold - Summer McIntosh (Golden Beret), Silver - Kate Douglass (Baguette the Gold) and Bronze - Kaylee McKeown (Team de Triomphe, though McKeown only earned this after a controversial DQ of USA's Alex Walsh (boooooooooo).
• 800m - Katie Ledecky holds serve and gets another Gold for Athletic Avengers, with Titmus getting silver for Macronian Cheese
• The 400m mixed medley relay had US getting Gold, China Silver, and Australia Bronze - but we have to look back to the multiple swimmers that even swam in prelims for these teams to determine points, as even those get medals for their team awarded:
• GOLD - Regan Smith (Baguette), Caeleb Dressel (Seine Superstars), Ryan Murphy (Eiffel Power), Gretchen Walsh (Race Walkers)
• SILVER - Qin Haiyang (Golden Beret)
• BRONZE - Mollie O'Callaghan (Hunchback), Kaylee McKeown (Team de Triomphe), Kyle Chalmers (Don't Ledecky)

Day 7: Marchand-ing Ahead

 Leon Marchand continued his ascendance to legend status in his home France - what a performance during these games, securing his 4th individual Gold medal.  Les marcheurs synchronises celebrate the win.

Swimming is nearing the end, and a few more medals handed out today:

• Cameron McEvoy - GOLD - Macronian Cheese
• Ben Proud - SILVER - Don't Ledecky Us Get Hot
• Kaylee McKeown - GOLD - Team de Triomphe
• Regan Smith - SILVER (again) - Baguette the Gold

Caeleb Dressel really fizzled out tonight - unfortunately for Seine Superstars.

The big story on the day in our Fantasy Olympiad is undoubtedly Macronian Cheese.  As President Macron was watching Marchand swim, Macronian Cheese racked up FIVE GOLD MEDALS today to leap from sixth into second place in the standings.  It's pretty tight among the top 5 right now.

Judo featured a winner from France that dominated - Teddy Riner (of Don't Ledecky Us Get Hot) has medaled at every Olympics since 2008, and won the Gold Medal match in 40 seconds with a ridiculous body slam.  I don't know all the rules of Judo but this is impressive.  Teddy won his Quarterfinals match with a similar slam, which the Georgian competitor then took so much affront to his loss that he dared to kick Teddy in the groin, stood over him taunting, and apparently broke every respect rule Judo has because he was subsequently banished from the competition.

Other Judo finishes:

• France women - BRONZE....AGAIN - 5th bronze for Hunchback of the Swimming Lane
• Israel Women - SILVER - Baguette the Gold

Diving - Sweaty finish to the 3m springboard synch finals, but China once again wins gold and avoids shaming the national team, Macronian Cheese, and Athletic Avengers.

Rowing rowed round and round:

• Great Britain Men - SILVER - Synchronized Race Walkers
• Netherlands Women - GOLD - Eiffel Power
• Romania Women - SILVER x 2 - Baguette the Gold
• Ireland Men - GOLD - Macronian Cheese
• Italy Men - SILVER - Athletic Avengers
• Great Britain Women - GOLD - Team de Triomphe

Sailing only has one selection by our teams as a wild card - USA sailing earned a bronze for Seine Superstars!

Tennis gave out their first medals today - Iga Swiatek served up the Bronze for Don't Ledecky Us Get Hot, though they feel a bit cold because Iga was certainly the favorite for Gold.  She was a part of one of the memorable moments on the clay, with Danielle Collins of the US getting so frustrated by Iga's pace-interrupting antics that she drilled Iga with a ball in the ribs. BAD BLOOD.

Badminton also deliveres a racket medal - the mixed doubles combo from China of Huang Yaqiong and Zheng Siwei took home the GOLD for Seine Superstars and Athletic Avengers.

Archery saw the mixed team final, and Macronian Cheese and Eiffel Power as the Korean pair (surprise, surprise) take the GOLD.  USA did win the Bronze!

We're at the mid-weekend turn - that 10000m race tonight was WILD with the top 13 finishers ALL BREAKING THE OLYMPIC RECORD. USA also got their first medal since 2012 and only the 3rd in the last 50 years.  The track will heat things up!

Day 6: Hitting Stride

 The month changes to August and TRACK AND FIELD starts....but it's the race walk.  Brian Daniel Pintado from Ecuador took the gold with a commanding gait. I also learned that you can find a photo finish picture of the race walk on the Olympics website. It's not very dramatic.

Alvaro Martin of the Athletic Avengers did speed walk to the Bronze! Our first athletics medal given out at the 2024 Fantasy Olympics.

Gymnastics obviously was a featured event today for our teams, with the women's all-around final.  As expected, the GOAT Simone Biles delivered the GOLD for USA and Team de Triomphe. Rebeca Andrade of Brazil and Golden Beret delivered a solid performance, but settles for a Silver Beret. Suni Lee doubles up USA on the platform and won the Bronze for Seine Superstars.

Fencing featured an exciting moment for Team USA with their first team Gold in the women's Foil, giving Lee Kiefer a double Gold at these games.  She went undrafted by us, but two Italians were picked and won the silver - Alice Volpi and Arianna Errigo of Eiffel Power and Team de Triomphe.

Swimming saw Katie Ledecky win her 13th medal, most all time.

• The Summer of Summer McIntosh continues, with Golden Beret wearing the GOLD
• Regan Smith of Baguette the Gold settles for a second Silver, but does get the GOLD from Kate Douglass
• The 4 x 200m women's relay handed out some hardware - Australia with GOLD - Maggie O'Callahan of Hunchback and Ariarne Titmus of Macronian Cheese celebrate

Rowing dished out a lot of hardware today:

• Romania Women - SILVER - Baguette the Gold
• Great Britain Women - SILVER AND BRONZE - Team de Triomphe
• Netherlands Men - SILVER - Hunchback of the Swimming Lane
• Ireland Men - BRONZE - Macronian Cheese
• Netherlands Women - GOLD - Eiffel Power
• Great Britain Men - BRONZE - Synchronized Race Walkers

Judo Jukes:

• Uzbekistan Men - BRONZE - Seine Superstars
• Georgia Men - SILVER - Athletic Avengers
• Israel Women - SILVER - Baguette the Gold

Canoe Cruise:

• France Men - SILVER - Macronian Cheese

Surfing has had some delays but after a big day through the bracket, both Surfers selected are still alive and into the semifinals. Brisa Henessey and Caroline Marks are on a collision course for the gold medal match if they can throw it down in Tahiti one more time.

Day 7 is on it's way - we're approaching halfway through the games!

Day 5: Swimming Upstream

 Swimming featured today, not only in the pool, but also in the Seine, as the triathlons got to jump into the slightly-less-than-yesterday contaminated water.

Katie Ledecky, Captain America, throws down once again in the 1500, finshing with no one else even close - she can do this all day! She secured the Olympic record and also she now owns the top 20 fastest times ever. She's so far ahead of the rest of the world, could she legit keep doing this until she's an ancient 30 year old? Athletic Avengers hope her domination keeps up in these games.

Leon Marchand is Le Capitaine France - securing DOUBLE GOLD today, and his third of the Games. What a clutch pick for the Synchronized Race Walkers.

Other Swimming winners:

• David Popovici - Eiffel Power - Bronze
• Kyle Chalmers - Don't Ledecky Us Get Hot - Silver

Gymnastics - Men's All-Around final provided an exciting finish, but not one that any of our teams wanted - NO MEDALS awarded. Daiki Hashimoto once again did not deliver as expected and finished off the podium for Macronian Cheese. He finishes his Olympics with one Gold medal, but not the 3 expected. 

Diving - China wins, you knew it would happen. Seine Superstars and Baguette the Gold celebrate

Rowing had it's first finals today!

• Netherlands Men - GOLD - Hunchback of the Swimming Lane
• Italy Men - SILVER - Athletic Avengers
• Great Britain Women - GOLD - Team de Triomphe
• Netherlands Women - SILVER - Eiffel Power

Judo

• Japan men lost! but Golden Beret still takes a silver. Athletic Avengers celebrate as the Georgia Men grab the Gold.
• France Men get a Bronze for Don't Ledecky us Get Hot.

Canoe - Jessica Fox of Australia gets her second GOLD for Hunchback of the Swimming Lane

Fencing - Hungary claims the silver in men's team Sabre - salvaging some points for Hunchback of the Swimming Lane

Day 4: Gymnastics (And Math) is Hard

 The women's gymnastics team final finished with the expected top team winning this time around - USA behind Simone Biles hit the floor running and ran away with the gold. Team de Triomphe is pleased to have her #1 pick deliver! Seine Superstars and Eiffel Power also score the gold with Suni Lee and Jade Carey. Shoutout to Hezly, who got to be 16, in Paris, getting a Gold medal, and not having to do anything but ride the wave.  In the interview she really said "just so glad to be here." Yeah I bet!

Special condolences to Macronian Cheese, who under the guise of team TokYoMama in the last games, also selected Biles #1, but finshed 4th in the final standings.  Had the twisty's not occurred, you can bet TokYoMama would have likely been on the podium.

Other special condolences extend to Great Britain, who were in a tight battle with Brazil for a potential Bronze medal.  A tradgedy in pictures:

After completing their final routine on the balance beam, GB were elated to look up and see themselves in medal position on the podium! All 5 girls were celebrating wildly, seeing they were sitting in medal position. However, Simone Biles was still to perform and once her score was posted, the US would re-assume the top spot and knock team GB off the medal stand. Their coach walked over during the celebration, explained that Biles was about to drop kick them, and held up 4 fingers. Elation turned to devastation.  That's the Olympics. Golden Beret swings in for the Bronze from Rebeca Andrade and Brazil.

Rugby Sevens concluded today with the Women's final matches. New Zealand won as expected, taking out Canada for the Gold, and boosting Eiffel Power to new heights, as she jumps to 3rd place with the help of the Kiwis.

The US women pulled off a dramatic final run as time expired to score and beat Australia to win the Bronze, securing their first ever medal in Rugby at the Olympics! I don't understand all the rules, but Spiff Sedrick (what a name) absolutely trucked some Australians and took it to the house just like she was playing on Super Bowl Sunday.

You just got SPIFF-ARMED!

 

In Table Tennis, the Chinese mixed doubles team topped the podium for gold beating North Korea, pinging 10 points to Hunchback of the Swimming Lane (Wang) and Baguette the Gold (Sun). Doo Hoi-kem of Team de Tripomphe finshed off the podium, losing in the Bronze medal match. The top story, was the podium - North Korea took Silver and South Korea the bronze, and the teams took a selfie afterwards, no DMZ present.

The Fencing Epee team gold medal match came down to Italy and France, and went into overtime on the last matchup to decide the winner. Auriane Mallo-Breton of France faced a similar circumstance in the Epee individual final a few days ago - vying for the Gold, heading to overtime. Unfortunately for Mallo-Breton, her Olympics end in double heartbreak - losing both matches. Synchronized Race Walkers do claim the Silver, after having Mallo's teammate Candassamy. However, Seine Superstars have the elite Alberta Santuccio of Italy, who DID get the final touch in overtime to seal the Gold for Italy and 10 points for the stars. 

Judo slams:

• Japan Men - GOLD - Golden Beret
• Georgia Men (Not the Bulldogs) - SILVER - Athletic Avengers
• France Women - BRONZE - Hunchback of the Swimming Lane (Seriously their 4th Bronze - come on girls get to the gold medal match!)
• Kosovo Women - BRONZE - Team de Triomphe

Swimming once again rounds out the day:

• Australia beats US again - Kaylee McKeown (Team de Triomphe) edges out Regan Smith (Baguette the Gold) in the 100m backstroke
• So many Irish names representing other countries on our teams - O'Callaghan, McIntosh, McKeown, Murphy, McEvoy...but an ACTUAL Irishman named Daniel Wiffen won the Gold in the 800m freestyle, beating out Bobby Finke of the US and Golden Beret, who settles for silver.
• The 200m men's freestyle relay interestingly featured none of our picks. Oh well.

Day 3: Stuck Like a Toothpick in a Club Sandwich

 WOW what a fun day at the games! The Men's Gymnastic team final led the way bringing the heat and the bro attitudes. The girls give the nice half-hugs and occasional high fives, but the dudes go full fist pump and mosh pit after every performance. It was a sight to behold today, and major ramifications for our teams, as China, Japan, and unexpectedly, the US, battled out to get on the medal stand. Macronian Cheese's Daiki Hasimoto continued some of his unexpected struggles falling off the pommel horse, but once some of the Chinese gymnasts turned in less than perfect performances, it opened the door. He closed it by finally delivering on the high bar and sealing the Gold for team Japan. China were strong favorites, and still secured the silver, making a solid pickup for Hunchback (Zou Jingyuan) and Athletic Avengers (Liu Yang).

But of course the US team is what we were all watching, and it all came down to Rivers Cuomo, ready to take the stage on his island in the sun. 

The US was not expected to be in this position, and all the pressure was on him, but he said "I don't care what they say about us anyway." He had to wait through every event to deliver a performance on his only event - the pommel horse. Of course, that's where he wants to be, livin' in the pressure filled moments. Despite the pressure, he did not come undone, he delivered, and the US secured the Bronze medal and the first spot on the podium since 2008.

Say it ain't so? Nope - it is! Synchronized Race Walkers celebrate big, with their double-first-named dude Fred Richard sticking the solid landings for the team all night. This three points felt so much bigger.

Diving featured the 10m platform springboard finals - China were nearly flawless with Yang Hao and Lian Junjie securing 10 points for Golden Beret and Eiffel Power. Noah Williams paired up with old man Tom Daley and splashed in for silver for Hunchback of the Swimming Lane.  Cassiel Rousseau (AUS) was ice cold for Don't Ledecky Us Get Hot, finishing 6th.

Men's Archery team finals met the expected mark with S. Korea winning the team gold - hitting the bullseye for Macronian Cheese, Seine Superstars, and Team de Triomphe. The S. Korean archers are treated like NBA basketball stars back home - earning huge wages and having fantastic facilities and technology to help them devote their time to honing their craft. It clearly pays off with double team golds.  Turkey secured the bronze behind their leader, Mete Gazoz, and Athletic Avengers bag the 3 points.

Judo was slammin' again:

• Japan women BRONZE - Synchronized Race Walkers
• France women BRONZE - Hunchback of the Swimming Lane
• Japan men BRONZE - Golden Beret
• France men SILVER - Don't Ledecky Us Get Hot

Canoeing featured the men's Slalom with France (Macronian Cheese) getting the Gold and Great Britain (Athletic Avengers) squeaking out the silver by 0.2 seconds over 3rd.

Fencing continues to feature plenty of unexpected results, with none of our competitiors making it to the medal rounds today.

Swimming rounds us out on the points for the day:

• Summer McIntosh of Canada drank her maple syrup today and dominated the 400IM, securing gold for the Golden Berets.
• David Popovici (Romania) popped everyone's hopes at the last moment to win the 200m free final and gets the Gold for Eiffel Power.
• Ryan Murphy hung on just long enough to still earn the bronze in the backstroke for Eiffel Power
• And the final big event - the Kangaroo showdown led to teammates Mollie O'Callaghan (Hunchback) and Ariare Titmus (Macronian Cheese) in lanes next to each other in the 200m freestyle final. Good golly Miss Mollie turned on the afterburners and put it away in the last 50m to get the gold.  Titmus earned the silver.

For those at the bottom of the standings - don't lose heart. There's so much to come including all the premier team events.  Points will pile in quickly!

Day 2: Millimeter Matters

The Archery women's team final appeared through the scope as if the S. Korean women were cruising to another gold, in an event they have never lost...ever. Every Olympic champion has been the S. Korean women. China roared back to win the third and fourth sets to force a fifth and deciding set.  After three arrows each, the score was tied at 27, so the judges got out the magnifying glass and looked to verify if two arrows shot by the Koreans may have barely grazed the line between 9 and 10.  After this Sherlockian inspection, the shots were upgraded to 10s and S. Korea claimed the Gold once again.  

This had major implications for three teams - as each member of the Korean team was selected on our squads: Hunchback of the Swimming Lane, Eiffel Power, and Golden Beret all aimed their sights on the 10 points and were glad to add this to their quiver. In one of the few non-S. Korean picks, Baguette the Gold unfortunately did not bake to golden brown, but burnt to a more Bronze color with Mexico defeating the Netherlands.

Judo matches continued - Tripomphe's Kosovo women made the gold medal match, but got pinned for the silver. France continued flexing with another Bronze for Hunchback. However, Japan dominated with a men's gold medal win for Golden Beret.

Canoeing competitions launched from the dock today - beginning with the K2 slalom.  Jessica Fox of Australia did not have exceptional qualifying heats, but made the final and secured the chance to fulfil her destiny - both of her parents were champion canoe competitiors in the past.  She then proceeded to out-Fox the tough course and stake a claim at the lead.  It all came down to the final competitor from Germany, with possibly the best chance to beat Fox or at least medal, but she ran into the wall and missed the next to last gate. Devastation turned to joy for Fox and Hunchback of the Swimming Lane.  Also, this gave a bronze to Great Britain and Golden Beret, as they were able to hang onto the medal stand.

Swimming will be a nightly fixture for a while - 

• Leon Marchand of France wowed the home crowd with a gold in the 400IM for Synchronized Race Walkers
•  However, the Race Walkers were tripped up when Gretchen Walsh was edged out for Gold by her teammate Tori Huske

Fencing rounds out the set of medals tonight - 

• Alice Volpi of Italy could not stab a medal for Eiffel Power - falling in the Bronze medal match.
• Lee Kiefer of the USA defender her gold medal in the women's Foil final defeating another member of Team USA!  However both were undrafted by our teams!

Elsewhere around the games, sweaty moments for Team de Triomphe, as #1 pick Simone Biles seemed to have injured her ankle during the preliminaries today, even crawling back on the mat at one point.  She was able to overcome this twist without any other "twistys" situation and dominated the remaining competitions. She still has a chance for 5 medals in these games. Rebeca Andrade ended in 2nd for Golden Beret, and Suni Lee in 3rd for Seine Superstars, setting up a great competition for all-around medals.

Day 1: Quasimodo-ring to a Fast Start

Ring the church bells - Day 1 is in the books and one team has jumped to a small lead. There's no looking back now, which is good because he can't see over his back.

I'll celebrate while I can, because so much will change. Unfortunately, the HOSL missed out on a bolus of points - the home team France pulled out the improbable victory in Rugby Sevens, taking down Fiji and dealing the Fijians their first ever loss in an Olympic match. Fiji still claims the silver, but this became a lower value wild card pick.

Elsewhere, HUSL did claim a gold from the Australian relay team and Mollie O'Callaghan, and Judo got underway with a bronze from France.

The Race Walkers started out with a strong gait, led my their dominant Japanese Women Judoka team securing their first gold. Don't Ledecky slammed a silver, with Macronian Cheese and Golden Beret finding bronze.

Swimming is always big in the first week - aside from O'Callaghan above, Ariarne Titmus (Macronian Cheese) and Caeleb Dressel (Seine Superstars) secured gold, with Summer McIntosh (Golden Beret), Kyle Chalmers (Don't Ledecky) and Kate Douglass (Baguette the Gold) scoring silver.  Last but not least, Katie Ledecky did get her first medal in the 400m for Athletic Avengers, however her golden moments are on their way with the longer races.

Diving fell as expected with China on top of the 3m springboard synchronized final - Team de Triomphe and the Race Walkers both splash with joy.

One of the big additional stories - Daiki Hasimoto of Japan gymnastics failed to qualify for two event finals where he was expected to medal. This deals a huge blow to Macronian Cheese, as this was a top pick that once again denies them Gymnastics glory.

Day 2 will heat up the competitions!

Let The Games Begin! Draft Grades

Thank you everyone for coming to the 2024 Draft! What a magnifique soirée!

Special thanks to Alex for making a billion crepes for us to enjoy, they were très délicieux.

After a long and winding road, we all survived the 24 rounds and selected our squads.  Good luck to all the competitors!

I loaded in all Write-in selections and have totaled up the projected points from all our drafted teams.  Here's the projected finish table if all the predictions come true:

Of course, this is the Olympics and we have to EXPECT THE UNEXPECTED.  Let's GOOOOO

Welcome to the 2024 Paris Fantasy Olympiad

 Hello and welcome to the 2024 Fantasy Olympic Games! 

We are so excited to enjoy all that the Paris Olympiad will offer - from underdog stories, to athletic feats never seen, to dumb decisions in the village, to political intrigue...there's nothing like the Olympics drama to come.

We will be utilizing an online draft during the Friday event - please be prepared with a device on which you can select your team.

We have 10 teams registered for this year's Olympiad - picks will be restricted to 45 seconds, or faster if you can manage it.  

Here, you can find the rules set for this Olympics:

2024 Summer Fantasy Olympics Rules

 1. Each team will have 23 athletes and/or teams and 1 tiebreaker country. 

 2. Draft order will be determined by a random draw.  Draft order will reverse each round.  Ex. Round 1 will go in order from 1-10, round 2 from 10-1, round 3 from 1-10, etc.  Each player gets one pick per round for 24 rounds.

 3. Each player will select a total of 23 athletes/teams that will fill the following roster spots on your team:

One athlete or team per sport (21) and two wild cards from any sport.  Everyone must also choose a country to serve as a tiebreaker.

 4. All remaining athletes/teams will become free agents.  However, all teams will lock on 27-Jul-2024 at the beginning of the first event.  Trades may be made between teams, but only on the night of the draft.  No changes can be made to the rosters after these first events begin. A player may draft a tiebreaker country in any round, but remember that the medals won by that country will only come into play in the event of a tie.

 5. The winner will be the player with the most points at the end of the 2024 Summer Games.  Points will be assigned as follows: INDIVIDUAL EVENTS: 10 points for a gold medal, 5 points for a silver medal, and 3 point for a bronze medal. TEAM EVENTS: 20 points for a gold medal, 10 points for a silver medal, and 6 point for a bronze medal.  COUNTRY EVENTS: Same points as Individual, but received for each medal awarded to that country in the sport. Each player's final score will be based on an aggregate score from his or her team members.

6. There are three categories of athletes/teams which can be drafted:

(1)If an athlete competes in both team and individual events (for example, a swimmer), that athlete can be selected as an individual, earning medals for both the individual and team events.  The team (ex. 4x100m relay team) cannot be selected as a unit. 

(2) If medals in an event are only awarded on a team-by-team basis (for example, basketball), only the team can be selected.

(3) Select sports will be labeled as ""Country"" selections, such as Rowing, Weightlifting and Wrestling.  These selections will be scored based on total points for all individual medals won by a drafted country.  For example, if USA women win 3 gold weightlifting medals, then the team that drafted USA women as their Weightlifting group will earn 10x3=30pts.  Note: specific named athletes in this category cannot be chosen as Wild Card selections, but Country selections in these sports can be selected as Wild Cards.

7. Medal counts will be updated in the official spreadsheet by the Commissioner or the Commissioneress on a more or less nightly basis and posted to the blog http://fantasyolympicgames.blogspot.com

 8. Each player will select one country whose total medal count will be used to determine a winner, in the event of a tie among two or more players' aggregate scores. If the total medal count fails to break the tie, then the gold count, silver count, and finally the bronze count, will be used.

9. In the event that an athlete on your team is caught doping at any point during the games, you will be deducted 5 points, and bring shame to your team.

10. In the event that an athlete on your team is kicked out because of a stupid facebook, instagram, X, or TikTok post at any point during the games, you will be deducted 5 points.

11.  If an athlete is stripped of a medal you will lose the points for that medal, and bring shame to your team.

Here is the List of Sports included in this year's Fantasy Olympiad:

For those interested in the matrix of all the sports and potential medal events, here is the list below.  Note: those with a priority order of "2" were just not included in the mandatory slot list above.  You can still draft either additional from any of the mandatory sports, or "Write-in" a selection from one of the other sports as a WILD CARD pick.

One caveat: I will be ranking the selections by possible points once we get data entered this week - if I find imbalance in the possible point totals I may shuffle some sports selections.  This is unlikely, but I will confirm before Friday.